4th day...going to the wake @ nite after work...still feels kind of gloomy...but beta I guess...Thanx to CLARA LEE CI HUI(happy not??put ur name so big on my blog entry...)yea...ahd a nice long tok with her yesterday till...it was a 3 hours tok(or more than tat??)..thanx for advice & ur listening...& thanx for the support..it is not any beta for u but u still stand & supported me...Thanx my fren...It was so long since we had time to chat for so long...& I really appreciate that time...The advice that u gif..rest assure...I'll leave the option open...like wat I told Hanson(thanx for the listening & thanx for willing to listen to me nagging...)I'm not giving up my dream of being a camp instructor & pursuing my degree if the need arises but its juz that I'm putting that on hold till I felt that I've done my part...& someone else beta can help Jill handle Tasting Notes but for now I juz want to keep my promise to Jill & to Byrick...Thanx to my fren who has shown so much concern this few days...it hasn't been easy...

In life I've met with a lot of death...The most painful one..my grandma..I still misses her till tdy...She's the one who brought me up...her departure left a deep scar in my heart...most sudden & shock this one...Byrick...never expected it to happen...& the one that I felt left a very heavy burden & the most lost..Thanx to my fren for sharing the heavy burden with me...Clara wanna tell u...Y u write tat letter to me at this time manz...idiot..cause me to be in deep shit la...left me so touch that I wanna cry but I cant cos I'm in office...u idiot..next time choose the rite timing can anot...hahaha...anw..really thanx for that letter & all the support...luv u all my fren..whoever have been sharing my heavy burden with me...I will stay strong with the help of God...but now that hurt...time will heal it...but now..it still hurts...sorry if I haben been myself these few days...hope u guys understand & stay strong too...

In that letter Clara wrote something that Byrick once told her...“Do not follow Byrick’s footsteps, don’t stay behind him. Do better than him, and he will be proud of you….”...

posted by fISh @ 13:41

Feeling down..not feeling all that good...Attachment haben been this bad..Everything seems out of place...everythings seems wrong...God pls save me from this agony...Life has become so fragile, so vunerable...1 moment someone can be standing in front of you but the next that someone is gone...These few days life seems so long...Time seems to pass by very slowly...How I wish, how I wish...so many how I wish...but its all useless now...Everything else seems to remain the same...The world still continue to move like usual...Life still hv to go on as usual...but still...It seems not the same anymore...

posted by fISh @ 15:51

It's the 3rd day...starting to accept that fact...but it still feels hurt...misses you...frenz that r shock hearing the news...hopefully time will heal everything...hopefully time will let me get use to your absence...hopefully time will let me not feel weird w/o you when I'm working...hopefully time will let me get use to you not ard when we go for super or movie...hopefully time will let me get use to not able to sit on ur bike & hving you sned me home...hopefully time will let let me get use to not hving working with me till late @ nite n chit-chatting with me, giving me advise, teasing me, guiding me & me giving you advise on gals matter...hopefully time will heal the pain in all of our heart...hopefully time will let us learn to not hving you ard...misses ur presence...misses you...my most respected manager, advisor, mentor & "father"...still after 3 days i still hope that it was wat it meant to be & that everything was not true...I will always rmb wat u tot me sincerity & honesty...always do wat u preach...so much more u hv tot me...i cant put into words...I'm lost at words...how can I take the responsibility w/o you ard...How m I going to learn...You always emphasize on learning...& told me that I can also learn something from a incompetent manager or supervisor..learn from their mistake & dun repeat theirs...be sincere to your customer...be honest...rpovide information for them...always providing quality service...now that you r gone...who else will remind me of all these, who else can continue to teach me?? I'm not sure...pls tell me wat to do..........................I guess time will tell...

posted by fISh @ 13:37

A post by Byrick last year when I spike him cos of some stuff..shall not mention..but now all is gone...

Fish

28th October 2005 6.40 a.m
Can't sleep well (I am very sick for the first time in 3 years) so I decided to write this blog. Hey sorry Fish so now this is a section all on you, ok!
Biyu aka Fish occasionally sotong or stingray; why? Sometimes she gets so blur with her work that she will not realize her mistakes till late or she fights back when she is being provoked. She has been working with me since the days of Sistina (I still can remember the interview of Wendy and Fish very well as they asked a question that nobody ever have asked me before; "Can we dye our hair?") She has grown up from a teen to a young adult during the last 3 years although most of the times she behave more like a young kid (she is). From a very green horn to an pretty young gal (she said she not pretty), from someone who do not know about the world to someone who can speak about general knowledge. I understand that she choose to study sport and wellness on her objection of her mother, hmm.... she knows what she wants and will try her best to achieve it. Remind me of when I chose to study SHATEC against the will of my parents. I hope she will hang on to the belief and reason why she want to study this subject. She has a differnet beauty from the rest of the gals who are working for me. Loretta remind me of Karen Mok or Kirsten Dunst while Fish remind me of Sandy Lam. Although Sandy Lam is not a stunning beauty but she has a look that will last. I am very sure that Fish will not have problems with suitors just like Loretta.
I am very happy that after leaving Sistina, we finally get to work again at Wine Connection. Fish, Loretta & Adeline has contribute much to the success of Bar @ Wine Connection. Without them is like I have lost my arms and legs. Thank you gals.
Well, I wish Fish the best in her study and go on and achieve what she set to do.

posted by fISh @ 15:21

I'm still can't believe it has happen thou I've went to the wake yest...The whole afternoon I was hoping it was all a joke...I was reluctant to go there cos I still cant believe it is true...its so sudden & he left so many responsibility behind....I hv yet to learn from him all abt wine & he still owe me the wine opener that he has promised...he has left so many things undone...& he's leaving us juz like tt...I still cant believe that...The news are still ringing in my ears & this mornin when I woke up I was still hoping all these was just a dream....When I looked into the coffin yest I was hoping you could open ur eyes but u didnt...& there u r sleeping so peacefully but here we r suffering bcos u left w/o a word...u left with unfinished work...& u left us shedding drops & drops of tear for u...how could u...& now I'm super lost....wat shall I do...Jill is feeling so sad but she still hv to carry on...I hope she'll take care of herself...I'm afraid that she'll juz fall apart...I dun feel like working tdy..but I cant...wat shld i do...I've got so many things to handle but i dunno which to do 1st...teach me...I'm not sure...pls somebody!!!I've told Jill that I'll be heping her out after graduation cos Byrick has told me a lot of time that he hope Wendy & I can go over to help him...initially I told to wait till I've fulfill my dream as a camp instructor...but now he cant wait for me anymore...so I guess I'll hv to let my dream wait...It seems like yest that I was toking to him & joking with him...it still seems so unreal...it feels like it was all a dream or a joke....

posted by fISh @ 11:35

To: my dearest Mentor, Manager, Advisor & "Father"...

It comes as a shock to hear abt e news...It never came across my mind & when I heard e news I tot it was a joke it cant be true but the fact that it is indeed true...It's hard or I shld say I cant imagine w/o u ard how m i going to survive in this industry....U tot me & guide me...& to me u r like a father...u r the best manager tt I've met so far...U tot me a lot abt wine & customer svc & the most valuable lesson abt life...u r my advisor when I hv problem tt I do not noe how to solve...

I hv started to work with u at the age of 16 till now it has been 2 years 9 month...u watch me grow & guide me along...u told me to go for my dream but u said that u really hope that I can stay in the wine industry but u noe i would not...wherever u go u always rmb me & ask me to join u...& no matter how much mistake i make u r patient to teach & guide & never once did u scold me...Frankly speaking with my little work experience i hv never met other manager who r like u...u treat all the part timer like ur own child & r willing to guide them patiently provided that they r willing to learn...I noe that I'm not tt good but u told me that I'm e best person in this industry...Till now I still cant believe that u r no longer ard...To me I've lost a Teacher, a mentor, an advisor, the best manager & a father...U always told me wat if u die 1 day & I always told u "nah, it wun happen, stop joking"...but now u r really gone...i dunno who else will continue to guide me in this long journey of life...who else can replace u in my heart...

posted by fISh @ 13:04

okie...as "promised" I came back to blog again...see...I really got nth to do at all...another reason for blogging..cos...I CAN NO LONGER STAND THAT UNCLE BESIDE ME LA!!ARGH...his listening to alle chinese oldies & its getting on my nerve manz...cos its so damn irritating la..u noe all e chinese oldies how they sound like....argh...& it continue non-stop la...its getting damn irritating now...& i've got the urge to shut at him & throw that stupid radio on the floor la...argh...PLS SAVE ME MANZ!!!argh...*CRY*hot pity can i get...its a torment to my patience, my brain & my nerve la...sharks...Its like my ear drum going to burst anytime...its that bad...I dunno whether to laugh or to cry manz...I got no idea at all....my brain is not functioning well at this point in time manz...cos all songs is driving crazy...that songs form that damn radio station that is mend for aunties & uncles...oh shit....here come another..I'm so going to die la..another few of these will drive me crazy...shit...this is worst den the rest....haiz...hopefully i can survive till 10.30pm(yes, I'm working till 10.30pm on a sunday)...SHITTtttttttt..............the songs are getting from bad to worst la...& its like another 1 hour & 46 mins...ah..............................shit here goes another one again........kill me pls*cry*...

posted by fISh @ 20:41

okie..juz look @ e no. of entry in 1 day u can tell how bored I am & how much work I'm given...I hardly or i shld say this is e 1st time tt i blog twice in 1 day wor...win liao lo...haiz...freaking bored..argh............can someone pls save me from this boredom...I need some entertainment manz...but act I shld hv count myself lucky...cos at least I hv a com in front of me to entertain me & at least I still can sign in to MSN to chat with my frenz...but at this point in time there's no one whom i can chat with!!& i think I'll die of boredom sooner or later...I feel like going for a jog or something at e very least I'm moving ard instead of sitting ard here doin nth at all..I mean AT ALL!!!argh...save me from this agony manz!!!I'm stuck in this boring office on a sun when i can spend time with my family & eat my mum's cooking la!!!ARGH!!!*CRY*....haiz...boring boring boring boring.............................................................................I think I'm going to blog again at nite.....stay tune for more boredom from fishy manz...

posted by fISh @ 17:40

*yawn*slpy..okie I'm always sleepy la..but tdy I'm damn tire manz..althou I took MC on fri cos of my damn back...thur it was aching quite badly...n I could feel e numbness no longer at e last toe of my left foot but practically all of them..so tot mayb shld go see doc la...wat e doc say i shall not mention here...another reason oso i dun feel like working cos i dun like to sit in office & do nth...plus my stupid back is giving me a lot of problem recently esp when i sit too long...argh...waste $$$ go see doc again...argh...but got 1 day of MC la..haha...

So went down to chalet earlier lo...*MC still can go chalet not bad huh, but like i care*..went to chalet with S4*shld b S3 la, sort of 1*...it was fun esp after u got stuck in office for 4 weeks sitting down doing admin work...& everyday is either work or home..so it kind of refreshes me lo...& plus so long nv spend time with frenz le...& miz them la...so it was fun & enjoyable thou on sat which is yest I got leave for a while to attend my Bro 21st birthday @ Furama River Front Hotel...was eating @ The Square restaurant...the food was fantastic esp the dessert*yummy* but for the service wise there nid to be improvement la...I think cos it was a sat & it was busy so that mean there shld b more service staff ard to attend to customer...okie shall stop here abt that...overall e food was yummy thou & HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY BRO!!! its act tdy...I got him a Nike Soccer T-shirt...Hope he likes it...Bro say might wan to bring me to Genting but might not be able to go liao...cos I got something on on tt week...

Okie mayb a little background abt me..I haben been staying with my bro ever since dunno when, when I was still a baby I guess so a lot of people thinks that me bro & I were not close but the fact that he is still my bro thou I dun really noe or understand him but we still care for each other a lot...mayb when we were young we use to quarrel a lot but i think as we grow older we started to care lo...& every year w/o fail he'll rmb my birthday & get soemthing for me..watever he can afford...but haha..i always forgot la...bad rite...tt's y this year I wanted to get something good for him lo...hee..i noe T-shirt very normal but to me its the heart the counts...he will also share with me watever things he got...so there's nth much I can complain abt this bro althou at time he seems a complete stranger to me...but yet u can feel that thing tt connects us at times..hahaha..dun understand rite...nvm...okie back...

so yea..in e morning went to wild wild wet...had so much fun manz..like so long nv go under e sun..so shiok..tried all the stuff..not very thrilling la...haha...but nevertheless I did hv fun with S4...hahaha...so at nite we were busy taking photos & whacking each other...it was like back to the good old times...wooohooo...fun manz...den we watched "hot chicks"...not bad la...quite funny...oh yea & "Harold & Kumar"..stupid movie but it was realistic la...abt the society..haha...it was abt this 2 stupid guy who was craving for "White Castle Burger" & on e way met with all the "wild adventure stuff la"...Overall I had a lot of fun...waiting for X'mas or New Year so we can either again get a chalet*can we hv something new* or it either book a hotel & chill out lo...hee...frankly speaking the feeling was kind of weird initially when I met with my S4 on fri...cos e feeling was quite diff..mayb cos i haben been out with them for quite some time la..but After tt like wat i say it was back to good old times la..hee.hope S4 enjoy themselves as well...okie now i shall continue to rot in office till 10.30pm...ke lian rite...haiz...but luckily i got Pizza for lunch so not so bad..juz tt feeling a bit lazy & tire la...okie back to rotting..wish me all e best manz...

posted by fISh @ 14:03

okie...finally I've found someone to revamp my blog for me...hahaha..all thanx to Jean..Lala's sis...hee...BIG BIG THANK YOU!!!1st day of the new blog skin...not wat I've imagine it to be but its nice & I like it very much...cos its aqua...hahaaha...k...i noe its lame...pardon me...hmmm...kind of feeling tire now...wan to slp but hv not done a lot of things & this week will b a damn hectic week for me..& for e passs few days it was quite busy especially tdy...it hell busy manz...haiz..so many admin work to do...but hv learn something everyday thou...althou it was quite boring at times...learnt that behind every so call big project there will be a lot of admin job to do & alot of effort needs to be put in by a lot of people....yup yup...tml's my off day but will be working @ Tasting Notes the whole day...*yawn*act dun feel like working but no choice...no work no income means no $$$ to pay bills means no handphone no internet & no bus concession...means.................................................watever la...e conclusion is gotta work la...well after work tdy went to my Youth Mentor's place to do bible study..as usual always fruitful & I guess the Bible no longer seems far away like b4...hahahaha....

So after tml...friday will be on afternoon shift & straight down to chalet after work...Sat morning go Wild Wild Wet after tt fo Furama Hotel(dunno if I spell correctly) to celcbrate my bro 21st Birthday with Family den back to chalet...& sun morning to church & straight after that I got work again(how nice..) & Mon morning afternoon shift till fri....Shit I'm so dead la...Next weekend I still got my Church Youth Leader & Mentor Retreat la..so its heading down after work again..win liao lo...nice schedule I hv manz...sianz...argh..I''ll be shag out by next week....all e best to me manz...pls kill me....haiz...till den dun think I'll be blogging this 2 weeks liao...seems like I'll be too tire to do so...so take good care of urself my fren...tata*CRY*...hahaha...who else can I blame but myself....

posted by fISh @ 00:53

Here I am back in office on a Saturday afternoon...how boring...saturday are mend to be out with friends and enjoying myself...haiz...& its rainin now...dampen my mood even further..but oh well...I'm glad I'm not alone..I'm with my colleague...my new found friends or should i call them my senior??not sure but at least I get to chit-chat with them..haha..& hear abt those gossip...not very nice...but oh well I juz keep my mouth shut...but as they are gossipping...I started thinking...cant people be more open & selfless & start thinking abt others??cos if tt's the case den there will be less conflict, less quarrel and it will be so much more peaceful..but the fact that it is difficult cos as long as there are people, there are conflict cos people have different thinking and opinion...well that's life in today's modern society..cos everybody thinks that he or she is always right...and people are more demanding & selfish i guess...cos on matter how good u try to do they will never be happy...I juz read something...if u respect, noe how to let go of somethings at the right time, put others first b4 urself ,maybe things would turn out well for everyone...I guess everyone muz give & take..its not juz abt taking but rmb to gif as well...oh...guess enuf of my philosophy...hahaaha..nice day everyone...till den bye bye...& take care....

posted by fISh @ 16:37

oh well..now sitting in office & I'm feeling damn tire now la...I cant wait to go home..this few weeks my off day were oso packed with work...which is my part time..so I'm freaking tire now...I need slp & i wan to go exerxise..I wan somebody to massage for me cos i hv a bad sore shoulder & its killing me la...I'm trying to keep myself awake now but its really hard & my eyes r closing...argh...I WAN TO GO HOME!!but still I half an hour more to go...argh...okie..so this week was pretty busy cos I got lots of data entry & admin work to do...which is good cos at least i dun hv to rot in the office waiting for time to pass till i go home...& so yest I was working @ tasting nots from 1pm to 2.30am...cool rite...hahaa...13 and half hours straight...but now here I am feeling so freaking damn tire cos I slp @ 3 plus yest thou I working in the afternooon shift day..Think cos its the late nite slp & working 13++ hours straight...straining my body...haben really had a good rest for the pass 2 weeks..yea...now I';m feeling the side effect now...argh..I want to slp now la..I'm trying a read my book now..but cant seems to concentrate...argh...okie..think tt's tt for now...till den...stay happy & hope all of u enjoy ur IPP...

posted by fISh @ 21:59

3rd week into IPP...& I tot I've learnt quite a lot...abt human relationship & abt people..I've seen abt office politics...heard abt e dark side of the society that I've never or shld i say seldom hv heard abt b4 & of cos I've a brief picture of how the few government bodies worked together to serve e people....cool rite...haha...yea...last week was ermmm...how shld put it..well...mon to wed..boring as usual cos not much things to do...but...thurday was tire...haha...its my off day BUT...I still hv to work..i mean part time @ tasting notes...work till like 1am...den went home was dead tire & fri I'm on morning shift & 1 thing good I onli nid to stay till 3pm & I can leave(well I was late cos I overslp...damn tir..)...was having a roadshow @ bukit panjang plaza ws quite alrite...juz sitting down dere and promoting the stuff...but learnt quite a bit...den went back to office to key in all e data(actually can go back la)..oh well..since I'm working after that @ wine hut...so mind as well stay in office to finish dose work 1st...den off to work after that....hectic manz...but it was still manageable cos that nite was not so busy...but still I work till like 2.30am & by e time I reach home its abt 3+++am....by e time I slp 4+++am...WAH!!!hahaha...

SATURDAY!!!DAY OUT WITH MY KAKIS!!!WEEEEEeeee....hee...was like finally met them...miss them la...tok a lot...& found out abt each other's IPP..chit chatted..had dina & off for soe wine...its was fulfilling and I guess meaningful..so long nv see them la..oh yea..went to the Fitness Asia @ expo in the afternoon with lala & Ernest...nth much...nth spectacular or amusing....so went to the book fair & bought some books & a shirt after that...& yes...THE FOOD FAIR!!!WAHAHAHhahaha....so much food la...but onli bought a pie & my fav snow ice*yummy*heee....so went to wine connection for wine & head to wine hut to see boss & Frank...stayed there with lala till 1plus almost 2....reach home 2 plus*thank to Boss for sending us...free ride...hahaha*but again slp @ 4 plus...

Next morning went to church @ 10 plus(didnt go for service again..so sad la...always got defeated by the Z monster....)but I love going to church cos that's my spiritual family where I can share a lot of stuff with them & they too share with me...that's a family of God...the house of God...heee....After that went to work again for e roadshow..good thing I can reach @ 3pm...& leave @ 9pm...onli 6 hours...It was fun thou..cos in e afternoon its all the "young ppl"...hahaha...sp we chit chatted & we work hard together & we broke e record on sat...hahaa...got 91 sign up..sat was onli 88....weeeee....cool rite....& was chit chatting with my in charge of IPP...tok a lot & learnt a lot...guess I respect her quite a lot cos of the attitude & character....she's a nice person..she's a sport person so I guess I can click beta with her...I've tot a lot after tat...

In Life you might not be able to please everyone*aiya Sinaporean forever complaining la..however good service u gif*so watever people do or say...you'll juz hv to ignore it..u cant control wat other wan to say abt you so juz ignore & keep a positive attitude lo...juz do ur best & finish the job..watever u can do to help juz do it...& after which watever people wan to say & however people r not happy...juz hv to turn a deaf ear & ignore...& be happy...if not life would be so miserable la...hahaha...but I muz say my up most respect to those in People's Association*Salute*....they hv to build relationship with so many many people cos they work through people, they work with people, they work for people....they hv to deal a lot with people's business...so everyday its abt serving people...& sometimes u dun even get respect or appreciated...cos wat u get at the end of the day is complain...stupid people coplaining abt stupid things....hahaha....so people appreciate wat they've done for you....well...till den..stay cool & happy....

posted by fISh @ 08:22

Another day....

well...it's yet another day...kind of dread it...cos I'm missing my bunch of friends a lot now...I MISS SCH!!!I MISS EVERYONE!!!haiz...but well its juz 11 weeks and now 10 more weeks to go onli..but it seems to me that time is passing by so so so slowly la...argh..well..after 1 week of IPP I can to see the real side of people a little of office politics there thou people are friendly or seems friendly but it seems not as well...they seems friendly towards each other but they gossip abt you behind ur back...that's the problem with working with people or women generally I guess...but yet again...I found that for the community centre they do have a lot of things to do...esp for the people (tt's they r called the people's association...)...they nid to deal with people..and tok to people...cos then that u will be able to do something for them...if not it is like quite impossible to do anything..& a lot of things that happen ard the neighbourhood r actually done by them..not jux events for the aunties and uncles but for the youth as well...n to think that they have nth else to do is totally wrong...they actually nid to do a lot of things for the residents living in that area...n worst till their work r not appreciated by them & wat do they get in return...stupid complains...well tt's wat I see so far la...so kind of wan to salute to them...but yet...haiz dunno la...hahaha...juz hope to see my fren soon...miss u guys manz....well beta go rest le...still nid to report @ 7am tml...haiz...till den...take care my frenz...bye...

posted by fISh @ 00:13